Graying

I had an interesting conversation with a friend today about her decision to "go gray."  As someone who has been gray since I was in my 30s, I found this processing fascinating.  What does it mean to decide to let your hair go gray?  It means no longer spending lots of money on hair dyes and hair salons, admitting that you are not in your 20s anymore, allowing yourself to be understood as aging, getting senior rates at the movies, and, horrors--appearing "old!"  So, why do we find this so scary!!